Time Heals

Holy cow, my poor little special place has gotten quite dusty. Oops! I'll just clear out some of these cobwebs and try to be a better apartment keeper!

So, back to the post at hand.

I am stunned. And if I could think of a better word for it, I would use it.

In the past three weeks I have discovered that my best friend - who I am no longer speaking to and likely won't, ever again - is getting married. In six months. A wedding that I won't be invited to, to a woman I will never meet.

And then I found out that my once fiance, who swore up and down that he didn't want any babies, who was adamant about me not being pregnant, is having one. With his now-wife. So there's a double surprise.

And....and I feel like a horrible person, because my initial reaction to any of these bits of good news isn't "oh, good for them" like a nice person would react. My reaction is more along the lines of "oh, woe is me" which is a horrible reaction both because it is selfish and because none of the news has anything to do with me anyway. I want all of the people involved to be happy - I just wish their happiness didn't sting the way it does at the moment.

But time heals many wounds.

So when someone asks me if I've heard the good news, I'll just smile and say "That's wonderful!". And I'll hope that with enough practice I'll start to believe it.

Time heals all wounds.

Doesn't it?

Losing It

Have you ever had one of those days that you think you are seriously going to lose your shit? I am talking about the days that you find yourself yelling at the drop of a hat, when normally those things would just roll right off your back. Instead of "oh, spilled milk? no problem, we'll just clean it up" you revert to "ARGH! Could we not have a spill for just the next five minutes?! ARGH". I find it no coincidence that ARGH! sounds very much like something an orge might be yelling, since I am feeling a little bit ogre-ish myself now that you mention it.

I think that if someone could invent patience in a pill that I would keep some - a big jar - on hand just for days like these....

Bitch, moan, whine, whine. I should just get over it already - a day that tests your patience is not all that unheard of. And tomorrow is another day to try again....