Welcome to Suite 13!

I have decided that I perhaps have enough bad luck in real life, so in my special pink apartment in the city, in the building full of pink pals, 13 will be lucky. Or so I'm hoping...

And because I have these great new digs, where I can say whatever I want, I will answer the question that the lovely Swistle posted the other day.

I was unmarried and a college graduate, living up the life that all young, single people think that they will have upon graduation. I had a great job, a sizeable expendable income, and loved every minute of it.

January 9, 2004 (coincidence that the original question was posed on January 9th as well, no?), and I was running an errand with a friend. I stopped cold before walking into a store and blurted out "Oh my God, I'm pregnant." Luckily, she was several steps ahead of me, and didn't hear a word I said. How she never noticed that my eyes were as wide as saucers and I was shaking like a leaf, I have no idea.

I don't really know how I knew, I wasn't even late at the time. But I knew. I KNEW. I had plans for the rest of the afternoon/evening, and it would have raised quite a few eyebrows if I had backed out, so I continued on like nothing was out of the ordinary. Although in my head I was going a million miles an hour....

The next day I went to Target and picked up a test. Which of course was instantly positive. Luckily I knew that was going to be the result, or I might have fallen over right then and there. Although instead of falling over, I just sat on the bed and thought about how lucky I was. I was going to have the thing I didn't even know I was missing, until it found me.

I made an appointment and saw an OB (and my background is in OB, so I was very careful about selecting someone that was not in any way affiliated with my job or the jobs of anyone that I knew who worked in OB...which was actually a lot harder than it sounds) and started to think about what it all was going to mean - I wasn't married, and I don't have any family around here.

I didn't tell anyone that I was pregnant, and was very careful not to let anyone ever suspect. I loved it, but it was like a secret just for me, that I could wrap up in whenever I wanted. Not telling anyone turned out to be the best decision I ever made, as I had a miscarriage early in the second trimester. The fact that no one knew saved me from a lot of explaining that I really didn't want to do.

I don't have any children of my own, and although I miss the one that could have been, I am alright with things as they are for now. And this is the perfect way to use my 'secret spot' since no one who actually knows me has any idea that I have ever been pregnant.