Time Heals

Holy cow, my poor little special place has gotten quite dusty. Oops! I'll just clear out some of these cobwebs and try to be a better apartment keeper!

So, back to the post at hand.

I am stunned. And if I could think of a better word for it, I would use it.

In the past three weeks I have discovered that my best friend - who I am no longer speaking to and likely won't, ever again - is getting married. In six months. A wedding that I won't be invited to, to a woman I will never meet.

And then I found out that my once fiance, who swore up and down that he didn't want any babies, who was adamant about me not being pregnant, is having one. With his now-wife. So there's a double surprise.

And....and I feel like a horrible person, because my initial reaction to any of these bits of good news isn't "oh, good for them" like a nice person would react. My reaction is more along the lines of "oh, woe is me" which is a horrible reaction both because it is selfish and because none of the news has anything to do with me anyway. I want all of the people involved to be happy - I just wish their happiness didn't sting the way it does at the moment.

But time heals many wounds.

So when someone asks me if I've heard the good news, I'll just smile and say "That's wonderful!". And I'll hope that with enough practice I'll start to believe it.

Time heals all wounds.

Doesn't it?

A Letter

You were my best friend. From the day I met you, I couldn't imagine life without you in it. You knew me better than anyone else. And most of all, I trusted you. Even when I maybe shouldn't have, I did. Because I thought you were better than that.



Turns out I was wrong.



Fool me once, shame on you. But fool me twice? I think not.



I wish you nothing but the best. I want you to find love and success and happiness that will fill your days and make all the rest of it worth it. And most of all I hope that you find a way to learn the important lessons that life has to offer, because at the moment there are some very important ones that you seem to be lacking.

I love you for the person you made me. I wish I could have continued to love you for the person you are. Your true self is the person you are when you think no one is looking. I saw you when you didn't know it, and I was disappointed to find out who you really are.